Ask for Help—the Right Way
Asking for help is necessary when you’re working on a project that stretches the limits of your knowledge or skill. But how do you do it in a way that doesn’t undermine your credibility? Here are some tips.
- Ditch the openers. Avoid phrases like “I hate to bother you …” or “I know you’re probably too busy for this ...” You look strong and professional when you get right to the point and state your purpose: “I’d like to get your thoughts on a challenge I’m facing.”
- Don’t point out your shortcomings. You might be tempted to soften your request or appear humble by saying things like “I’m so bad at this …” or “I’m in over my head.” These statements can make you look bad or the other person uncomfortable. Instead, highlight the helper’s skills and how they align with your needs: “I know you’ve handled requests like this before, so I thought you were the perfect person to ask” or “I noticed you have a real knack for tech—do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”
- Be specific. Don’t present a vague or rambling description of your problem. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m having trouble with this presentation; can you help?” try, “I’m not sure if these PowerPoint slides need more graphics. What do you think?”
- Explain what you’ve already done. Before you approach anyone for help, do what you can to solve, or at least explore, the issue on your own. Share with the person what you have done. It shows you took initiative, and it gives your helper a clear starting point, so less time is wasted exploring possible solutions you’ve already considered and eliminated.
- Ask for advice instead of help. Most people enjoy feeling knowledgeable and helpful. When you frame your request as a desire for advice, show that you value the helper’s expertise and that you want to learn. So instead of “Can you help me with this?” try “I’d like to understand how you would approach this kind of problem.”
For more advice, read “How to Ask for Help Without Making Yourself Look Bad.”