Emotions can run high in the workplace, especially during difficult conversations. It’s natural to want to avoid these uncomfortable situations, but it is important to address issues. If you speak with empathy and calmness, you will control your emotions, listen effectively, and make rational decisions.

Here are a few tips for how to approach difficult discussions:

• Repeat a statement as a question. For instance, say a manager asks an employee about a mistake. If the employee says, “I was under a lot of stress,” the manager could respond with the question, “A lot of stress?” This invites him to talk about what caused the stress and how it led to the mistake. It puts the manager in a position of listening and caring, showing that the manager is focused on the employee. You can practice this mirroring technique with family and close friends and get their feedback.
• Speak in soothing tones. Counter emotional spirals in conversations with soft, soothing tones. This is a technique used by call centers. A calm voice leads to a calm mind—and if the other person is angry, your voice will calm them. When you find yourself in a stressful situation, consciously lower your voice and speak slowly. You can practice when you are in easy conversation with friends—try testing out a range of voice tones and see which one sounds authentic.
• Use active listening. Active listening is great in all situations, but especially in highly-charged ones. Focus on what the other person is saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak and using that time to formulate your argument. Active listening shows empathy, which in turn establishes a connection with the other person. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, and you can’t do that without listening to them. Try practicing active listening with family and friends. Reading novels can also help you develop empathy, as it places you in the mind of another person.
• Gather information. Before engaging in a difficult conversation, get feedback from others. There’s a chance you might discover insight that will contribute to your understanding of the situation and allow you to get to the heart of the matter quickly.

For more advice, read “How to Have Hard Conversations Without Emotions Taking Over.”